Written by Clinical Psychology Registrar, Shireen Ali
Often, the first signs that a child is struggling are small, quiet changes in their behaviour. Many parents come into our service feeling worried, confused or overwhelmed by these shifts, especially when they’re unsure what’s causing them.
It’s completely natural to want to understand what’s going on and to make sure your child feels safe and supported. Children’s behaviour can change for so many reasons -growth spurts, school challenges, friendship changes, tiredness, or even hunger. Anxiety can easily slip under the radar until it begins to interfere with daily life.
Sometimes children don’t yet have the words to explain what they’re feeling. Instead, the signs show up in subtle, unexpected ways. Recognising these early signs can make a meaningful difference. Early understanding allows for early support, and by simply paying attention, you’re already doing something incredibly important.
So, What Does Anxiety Look Like in Children?
Anxiety in children doesn’t always look the same. It doesn’t always look like stereotypical fear or worry either. It often shows up through the body or through behaviours before a child actually says to someone “I think I’m feeling anxious”.
Some of the most common early signs we see in children include
- Physical Complaints
Children often feel anxiety in their bodies before they can express what is in their mind. You might notice symptoms appearing right before school, social gatherings or even bed time. Common complaints include stomach aches, headaches, nausea, feeling hot and sweaty or needing to use the bathroom frequently.
E.g. a child repeatedly complains of stomach aches on Monday mornings but is fine on weekends. - Avoidance
One of the first signs of anxiety is avoidance of tasks. This avoidance isn’t actually “defiance”. Rather, it may be a sign that something feels too big, or scary or overwhelming. Children may avoid sleeping alone, going to school, engaging in new activities.
E.g. a child suddenly refuses to go to netball practice, even though they used to love it. - Changes in Behaviour or Mood
Anxiety doesn’t always look like fear or worry. Sometimes a child may seem ‘on edge’, frustrated or even easily overwhelmed. Sometimes anxiety can look like irritability, sadness, withdrawal, anger or even perfectionistic tendencies.
E.g. a usually calm child begins to have emotional outbursts over small mistakes. - Trouble With Sleep
Sleep is one of the most common indicators of anxiety. Disruptions in sleep commonly show up before any other symptoms. Children might experience difficulties falling asleep, frequent nighttime waking, nightmares or even wanting to co-sleep.
E.g. a child who previously slept through the night begins waking multiple times and refuses to sleep alone - Changes in Appetite
Anxiety can change the body’s hunger cues causing children to eat less, feel full quickly or avoid certain foods without clear reason. Sometimes children say they’ve lost interest in meals, or you may notice complaints of nausea at meal time.
E.g. a child who previously enjoyed breakfast suddenly refuses to eat in the mornings. - Excessive Reassurance-Seeking
Children look for safety through closeness and repeated reassurance. Anxious children may want you nearby all the time or asking the same questions over and over again. This can look like wanting a parent nearby all the time or needing constant confirmation that things are okay.
E.g. a child repeatedly asks “are you sure you’ll pick me up after school?” even after being reassured many times.\ - Changes in School Performance or Engagement
Anxiety can make it hard for children to concentrate, participate or stay motivated. Sometimes, this may look like a sudden drop in effort at school. You might also notice they have trouble paying attention, or they seem to be avoiding school work.
E.g. a child who normally completes homework independently begins avoiding tasks or getting easily frustrated. - Perfectionism
Anxious children can sometimes worry about making mistakes or getting things wrong. You might see perfectionism through actions like redoing tasks, taking a long time to start tasks or getting upset over small errors
E.g. a child melts down because a drawing doesn’t look just right.
How Can You Support Them?
Once you recognise the signs, the next step is thinking about how to respond. You don’t need to have all the answers – being present, calm and attentive goes a long way. Some simple ways you can support your child include:
- Stay calm and steady when they’re navigating big emotions: Children mirror the emotional tone of their caregivers. A calm response helps them feel safe.
- Validate their feelings and experiences: Simple phrases like “that sounds really tough” or “I can see you’re stressed” can help children feel understood.
- Creating predictable routines: consistent mealtimes, bedtime routines, and after-school structure can reduce anxiety.
- Use gentle curiosity: Asking open questions like “what was going through your mind” instead of “why are you doing that” can open the floor for effective communication.
- Help them label feelings: Naming feelings reduces fear, normalises their experiences and gives children the language to express themselves.
- Seek professional support: Early help makes a big difference, especially when anxiety impacts daily functioning.
- Collaborate with professionals: Consistency between parents, teachers, and therapists helps children feel supported.
Final Thoughts
Anxiety in children is not a sign of weakness or misbehaviour. It’s a sign that something feels overwhelming, confusing, or too big for them to handle on their own. Early signs can be subtle – changes in behaviour, emotions, or routines often show up before children have the words to express what’s going on. If you’re noticing these shifts, it means you’re being attentive.
With the right support, children can learn skills, build confidence, and rediscover a sense of strength and calm in their world. Clinicians at Foundations Centre are here to help guide children and families through this process with understanding, evidence-based care, and a warm, supportive approach.
